hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
