My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just tell him i said nine months
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
