I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
