I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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