Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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