I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I puked a lego.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
God, I missed his penis.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
