I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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