No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
