p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
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