yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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