Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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