I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Drunk is not a location!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
