Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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