at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
