Small penises have feelings too.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
