"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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