Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
