people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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