NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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