i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
