I'm going to jail i love you
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I believe in your delicious
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
