Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
