ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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