Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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