im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
whose parrot is this?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
