Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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