On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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