you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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