You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The beer is more important than you right now.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
