I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I am one with the molecules
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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