I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
