Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
