White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
