now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
