Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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