I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
