You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
