Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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