I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
