god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
