thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
