I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize