I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
