Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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