I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
