i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Sober January is a disaster.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
