If that was your dad, he is hot
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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