Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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