Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
