Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
