And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
