I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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