why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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